Just as the body speaks through hunger or fatigue, our child’s behaviour communicates emotion and need. This awareness—a foundational pillar of our Growth Philosophy—is about learning to read signals with empathy. It begins as a practice within ourselves, then extends outward to others, as we choose words and actions with care. Through consistent, compassionate repetition, trust accumulates, and a true sense of belonging begins to take root at home.

Because intelligent parenting looks different for every family, so does the way it’s defined. We learned from experts in psychology, neuroscience, and family well-being to explore the true meaning of raising children confidently and intelligently.

Intelligent Parenting Is…

Regulation

“Regulate, relate, reason — in that order. A dysregulated adult cannot teach a child to calm down. Before we correct behaviour, we must first offer rhythm and safety. The brain learns through patterned, repetitive experiences of calm connection. When parents can stay steady under stress, children begin to wire their own stability around that pattern.”

— Dr. Bruce D. Perry, neuroscientist and trauma intervention expert

Seeing the Good

“It is helpful to remember that the most strong-willed children tend to be the ones who identify the most strongly with their parents. So instead of viewing their seemingly constant challenges as defiance or attempts to thwart authority, work to parent from a place of understanding that your strong-willed child is actually on a discovery mission and is doing endless 'research' on you by testing and retesting and digging and chiseling to discover all of your quirks and foibles and ups and downs and strengths and weaknesses.”

— L.R. Knost, author and parenting educator

Choosing Connection

“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. Connection doesn’t mean permissiveness — it means influence through trust. The more children feel seen and respected, the more naturally they cooperate. Calm parenting begins with presence, not perfection, and with choosing relationship over rules.”

— Barbara Johnson, author and family counsellor

Listening

“A child seldom needs a good talking to as much as a good listening to. We spend so much time instructing that we forget to hear. Listening tells a child their inner world matters. It’s the heart of empathy, and the first language of love. Calm parenting is about building a home where listening leads.”

— Robert Brault, writer and social observer

Presence

“Children don’t need perfect parents; they need parents who are present. The moments that matter most for emotional development are often small — the eye contact across the dinner table, the hand on the shoulder after an argument, the genuine laugh shared at the end of a long day. Calm parenting is the practice of noticing these micro-moments and realising that love lives in attention.”

— Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, psychotherapist and co-author of The Whole-Brain Child

Realness Replaces Perfection

“There is no such thing as the perfect parent, so just be a real one. Calm parenting invites vulnerability; it teaches that authenticity, repair, and apology build more resilience than control ever could. When we let go of perfection, we make room for learning — for ourselves and our children.”

— Sue Atkins, parenting coach and broadcaster

Energy

“Every tone and every pause you take is either adding to or, on the flip side, subtracting from a trust bank. It’s so empowering to realise that the loving, self-caring energy I bring into a moment can transform how my child and partner feel and how our family grows. At Embreier, we like to say to set the emotional tone before setting the rules. It is thankfully a trainable skill.”

— Quintana Hoyne, Embreier Founder & CEO

Repair

“Most of us communicate the way we were taught. We either repeat old patterns or choose to transform them. Calm parenting is the conscious act of breaking cycles — speaking with curiosity instead of criticism, leading with awareness instead of autopilot. Each generation that practices emotional regulation changes the next.”

— Kristen Crockett, emotional intelligence strategist

References

1. Knost, L.R. (2013). The Gentle Parent: Positive, Practical, Effective Discipline. Little Hearts Publishing.

2. Johnson, B. (1990). Daily Splashes of Joy: A Guide for Mothers. Thomas Nelson.

3. Brault, R. (2018). Short Thoughts on Long Walks: Essays on Observation and Connection. Self-published essays and aphorisms.

4. Atkins, S. (2020). The Parenting Plan Workbook: Practical Tools to Raise Confident, Kind Kids. Hodder Education.

5. Crockett, K. (2024). Emotional Intelligence at Home: Relearning Communication in Families. TEDx Washington, DC.

6. Perry, B.D., & Winfrey, O. (2021). What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. Flatiron Books.

7. Bryson, T.P., & Siegel, D.J. (2011). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind. Delacorte Press.